Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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