i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Quick, to the slutcave!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
