I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
