Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
