either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
