the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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