Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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