His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Randomize
