The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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