she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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