I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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