And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
