yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
