Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Rumble strips road head = magical
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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