about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
