M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
