I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
