YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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