I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
