id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
