Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
