Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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