Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
