the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
