You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
