i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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