I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
