Do vagina's smell?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
