I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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