I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
