Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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