hotel room ftw
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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