Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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