Can Purell be used as lube?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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