Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
