So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
