please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
