i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
