can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it because I queefed?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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