Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
