Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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