lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
