Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
