come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
