I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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