Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
