Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
