i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
