Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
