Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
