You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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