When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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