Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
